The Marriage Corner

View Original

6 Key Relationship Boundaries to Strengthen Your Marriage

Discussing boundaries does not have to feel uncomfortable. When boundaries come up, individuals often think of scenarios like "I turned down an invite to an event I had no interest in" or "I explained to my sibling that I was unable to lend them funds." While setting and maintaining these boundaries in our interactions is essential, they are equally crucial in a marital or long-term romantic relationship.

Steady boundaries are the building blocks of a successful partnership. Maintaining privacy, nurturing separate friend circles, managing personal social media profiles, or enjoying solitary time that does not involve your spouse is perfectly reasonable. Not only does this empower you, but it also improves your relationship and enhances communication within your marriage.

Looking into Boundaries That Strengthen Your Marriage

Reflect on what suits you best and the boundaries that might support it. Remember, what works for one couple may not apply to another.

It would be great if shared social media account access were agreeable to both parties. Conversely, if maintaining separate accounts without browsing each other's private messages is preferred, this can also be accommodated. Providing there aren't trust issues stemming from betrayal, both parties might enjoy the freedom this allows.

The setting and communication of personal and collective relationship boundaries are often overlooked. Usually, the rules evolve naturally and are revisited only during a crisis or if disagreements surface.

The book 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do highlights six types of boundaries that can improve marital communication and bolster your relationship. Reflect on how these boundaries apply to your partnership and evaluate whether you need to tighten controls in some areas.

13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do: Fix What's Broken, Develop Healthier Patterns, and Grow Stronger Together

  1. Physical: Do you knock before entering the bedroom when your spouse is inside, or walk in without warning? Do you respect your partner's need for personal space during disputes?

  2. Financial: What is the maximum amount you are comfortable spending without discussing it with your spouse? Do you aim for a shared fund or prefer to keep some money separate?

  3. Social: At what point in your external social life should you inform your partner? Does it involve spending, or do these social gatherings occur on weekends or when your spouse is home?

  4. Sexual: Is there open communication with your spouse about comfort levels or desires?

  5. Emotional: How would you react if an ex contacts you via social media? What if they contacted your spouse?

  6. Time: Are there instances where you don't wish to have company? If so, how do you communicate this need with your spouse?

Continually Adapt and Review Your Boundaries

Misconceptions about boundaries suggest they are for manipulating or controlling someone's behavior, which isn't the case. They exist as guidelines to maintain personal harmony and enable an individual to function effectively.

Open dialogue with your spouse about your needs is critical. Discuss changes you wish to implement and address instances where boundaries were overstepped maturely.

Regularly review boundaries as a couple, whether declining to loan family money or rejecting social engagements interrupting quality time together. Regularly discussing boundaries is one of the most vital tips to reinforce your relationship.

Maintaining open communication in marriage, aiming for conflict resolution, and cherishing emotional and physical intimacy indicates a sound marriage. Regardless of your relationship's trials or the support it requires, seeking aid through online marriage guidance or therapy is always a good decision. Prioritizing your relationship and dedicating time to foster its success is the cornerstone of a fortified marriage.