Recognizing and Addressing Porn Addiction in Marriage
Pornography is pervasive in our society. It's easily accessible and easily hidden. But what does porn addiction honestly look like? And how can you get help to overcome this addiction and restore your marriage? This article explores six signs and symptoms of porn addiction, along with practical resources to help you move forward as a couple.
A Quick Note About Husbands and Wives
Porn addiction is not exclusive to husbands. A 2018 study found that about 90% of men and 60% of women reported consuming pornography in the past month. New research suggests that women are just as visually stimulated by porn as men. Porn addiction can manifest differently for men and women, but it can be a challenge for anyone. Fortunately, there are resources to help both husbands and wives struggling with this issue.
What Does Pornography Addiction Look Like?
Below are six signs and symptoms of porn addiction. Practical resources to address each aspect of addiction are shared at the end of the article.
Porn Addiction Can Start at Any Age
Over 50% of Americans report having watched porn at some point in their lives. A recent report by Common Sense Media found that the average age when a teen first encounters porn is 12 years old. Addiction can begin at any age and can affect every area of your life.
Porn Addiction Traps You in Isolation and Shame
Porn addiction affects how you feel about yourself. Extreme shame often accompanies porn addiction, creating a cycle of guilt if you fall back into old habits. The effects extend into everyday life, leading to isolation, self-consciousness, and insecurity. For both men and women, porn addiction can lead to depression and loneliness.
Porn Addiction Leads to Secrecy
A significant sign of porn addiction is secrecy. This might include deleting your browsing history or using a secret device your spouse doesn't know about. Hiding anything from your spouse creates cracks in your relationship, leading to defensiveness or hostility.
Porn Addiction Alters Your Brain
Viewing pornography causes your brain to release dopamine, a "feel good" hormone. Over time, the brain creates a new chemical called Delta-FosB, which leads to more intense cravings for porn. This build-up can numb your pleasure response and minimize willpower, leading you to spend more time online and less with others, including your spouse.
Porn Addiction Warps Your Perspective of Intimacy
Pornography is not real life. It involves camera crews, makeup artists, scripts, and hours of editing. Porn can trick you into believing that what you see on the screen is entirely natural, leading to unrealistic expectations for your spouse and your sexual intimacy. This leaves you feeling unsatisfied since no one can meet these unrealistic standards.
Porn Addiction Harms Your Marriage
Porn addiction does affect your marriage. It is akin to emotional and physical adultery. Constant porn use can make you feel less satisfied with your sex life and weaken the foundation of your marriage due to secrecy, unrealistic expectations, and more. When your spouse discovers what you have been hiding, trust will shatter, leading to feelings of anger and betrayal.
How to Overcome a Porn Addiction
Now that you know what porn addiction can look like, here are your next steps.
Tell Your Spouse
There is no freedom from a porn addiction until you tell the truth to your spouse. Yes, it's terrifying, but your marriage cannot move forward without honesty.
Stop Watching
Pornography is highly addictive, but your brain is incredibly elastic. It will take time for your brain's chemical levels to return to normal, but this process cannot begin until you stop watching porn. You may need to install internet security or use a site blocker to hold you accountable.
Seek Help
Don't try to navigate this on your own. There are countless resources available to help you overcome porn addiction. Work with a professional to get strategy and accountability. A counselor, therapist, or marriage coach can help you break your addiction and restore trust and intimacy with your spouse.
Your Marriage Can Heal After Porn Addiction
Confronting porn addiction takes courage. Anything that traps you in shame and secrecy has power over you. Remember, you are not alone. Many experts say that porn is just as addictive or more addictive than cocaine and heroin.
The "traditional" addiction recovery methods are outdated and not built to fight against the battle of today's readily available, easily accessible, and highly addictive internet streaming porn. That's why we've partnered with Transformational Behavioral Expert & the World's #1 Porn Addiction Recovery Coach, Frank Rich, to show you how you can break free from this addiction and become the person you were born to be in just 12 weeks.
